Not to be outdone by Aqua Colbert, Bill Maher’s got his own hot concept for the bottled beverage business. From last Friday’s “New Rules”:

“As far as I’m concerned, Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper still doesn’t have enough shit going on. I need Caffeine-Free Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper”no, no, no, I need Cool Ranch Extreme Caffeine-Free Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper. And baked. And, I want a sticker on it telling kids that drugs are bad.”

Maher’s mockery of marketing run amok raises a sticky issue: the fact that excess soda consumption’s doing more harm to our kids than drugs are, objectively speaking. And soda–even diet soda–is taking a toll on grown-ups, too.
As the NY Times reported last month, a steady diet of diet soda’s been linked to “metabolic syndrome,” a killer combo of conditions that can lead to cardiovascular disease and diabetes: obesity, high cholesterol, and elevated glucose and blood pressure levels. The beverage industry’s fighting the growing stigma against soda by frantically trotting out one kind of “healthy” drink after another, carbonated and not, in an effort to maintain its market share.

Find out why soda sucks at the Organic Consumers Association.