The Washington Post’s 2005 Neologism contest results are old news, 3 years old, to be precise. But since I just had them forwarded to me by a friend, they are news to me. And thanks to the neologists, I have been able to diagnose a timeless problem I have confronted as a satirical comic and blogger. (I know, get over myself, it’s you, Katie, not your audience, or a “problem,” who needs a diagnosis etc., but whatever. And NO I’m not comparing myself to Steven Colbert or Lenny Bruce, they’re just amazing satirists. So shut up!) The word is

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

I feel so validated, knowing there is a name to describe the sarcasm I have experienced. This neologism is so dead-on, I’ve invented my own: neologosis: a (n) diagnosis made by a neologism. Below are instances of sarcasm, when my satire was misunderstood. Here’s what the sarcastic critics are saying:

a passing blogger responding to my Russ Feingold: one crazy Jew! blog post

It’s times like these that I’m tempted to lose faith in humanity completely. and by the way, it’s spelled “meshugga”. way to be well-informed.

Anonymous, responding to my 3 Open letters in support of H.R. 4437 in which defended anti-amnesty legislation because immigration really IS a national security question, as we learned from “the horrible events of 3/6/1836… never forget… The Alamo… We live in a post-3/6/1836 world” said

“niggers should stop being so f@#%! lazy and they should stop complaining and blaming immigrants for being so f@#%! broke!!!!!!!! F*** YOU… !!!! Next time don’t mess with a MEXICAN….”

In response to my post Bill Off the Hook reposted on HuffPost, in which I said that as America’s First Black President, Clinton can’t be racist, Tellmethetruth spoke this truth to my power:

Bill Clinton never was racist, but the opposite, very good and close friends with African Americans his entire life, even in a segregated South. Katie Halper, the comments you made are cruel, incorrect, slander, and libel. When you are willing to work every day in Harlem as Bill Clinton has, then you will have earned the right to call him a racist. No African American who knows him, would, because they know it is not true.

In response to a true story about my mother having dated Marion Barry, which I lament, saying if only my mother had dated a cool civil rights activist, then whenever I was mad at my father I could say “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my father. Dr. King is my father” an audience member complained:

I know some people find that funny. I know some people find satire funny. But you know what else people find funny? LYNCHING… and RAPE… and MOLESTING CHILDREN

But if you like satire and sarcasm, AND freedom of speech, and tell your representative to vote against the STOP The Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007, S. 1959, which violates the Constitution, and uses vague language to define what constitutes terrorism. And if you like political comedy, check out Laughing Liberally.